“The whole life of the good Christian is a holy longing…let us long because we are to be filled…” ~St. Augustine
~~~
You’ll recall this quote from last week’s devo, and I want to finish up this little “series” by diving a little deeper once again into what it means to live with a holy longing—by looking at what it’s not.
It’s not telling (or even asking) God all the things we want—friends, a future husband and kids, prosperity, safety, etc., and expecting him to come through, like Santa or something. It’s not that God doesn’t care about these things…but rather, they are “after” things. Things God will bless you with after you surrender your heart to him. He will come through, but he wants the deeper parts of you first.
It’s not opening yourself up to hurt for the sake of being hurt. Yes, desire often brings pain, because we want certain things and then become disappointed when our expectations aren’t met. It’s not about dwelling in our unmet desires, wallowing in sorrow because we have asked for so long and still don’t have what we want.
What holy longing is about is something really terrifying—honesty. It’s about opening up and inviting Jesus to those places in your heart that make you restless, that cause you to stumble, that leave you wanting more. It’s about being real. It’s asking God to reveal those dark places that maybe you have pushed down for years. It’s about coming out of hiding. It’s about standing your ground when you want to run away because it’s scary or it hurts.
It’s crying out, saying, “God, will you look at me? Look at this horrible mess! I’m too much, I’m not enough; I try so hard and I always come up short. My heart is troubled and empty. Will you come fill me?”
It’s not about chasing after your desires on your own and asking God for a little assistance along the way. It’s about chasing after God first and foremost, then asking him to fill your desires along the way—and seeking him all the while as we wait for him to bless us with what he knows is best, from his own hand.
It’s not easy. The life of a woman after God’s own heart is never easy. But it’s an adventure of beauty, mystery, and wholeness. Isn’t that what we all desire?
~~~
“As the deer searches frantically, breathless, and parched for a stream of sweet, cool water—that’s how my soul longs after you, O God.” ~Ps. 42:1
.....
Life Less Ordinary for the week of February 1, 2009
“God is waiting eagerly to respond with new strength to each little act of self-control, small disciplines of prayer, feeble searching after him. And his children shall be filled if they will only hunger and thirst after what he offers.”
~Richard Holloway
~~~
Too much of our time is spent chasing after fruitless things. Recall the desires of your heart that I invited you to think about last week. How do you go about trying to fill those? Too often it is with things that leave us feeling emptier than before. We enter meaningless or harmful relationships, indulge in destructive behavior, distract ourselves with busyness, or hide and escape from the world, ourselves, and God.
Is this to say that it is wrong to desire? To want? To long for, truly, deeply? Not at all. Saint Augustine said “The whole life of the good Christian is a holy longing. What you desire ardently, as yet you do not see…let us long because we are to be filled…that is our life, to be exercised by longing.” Jesus himself told us to ask, seek, and knock, and he would freely give. Maybe not immediately, maybe not exactly what we want, but the deeper promise is that he will satisfy us from his own hand.
We need to feel desire, otherwise we wouldn’t try to satisfy it. If we didn’t get hungry, we’d never eat; if we didn’t get tired, we wouldn’t sleep…if our hearts didn’t ache, we wouldn’t search for God.
~~~
Hungry, I come to you
For I know You satisfy
I am empty, but I know
Your love does not run dry
Broken, I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary, but I know
Your touch restores my life
So I wait for you
So I wait for You
I’m falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You’re all this heart is living for
So go ahead. Ask. Seek. Knock. He will open the door.
---
~Richard Holloway
~~~
Too much of our time is spent chasing after fruitless things. Recall the desires of your heart that I invited you to think about last week. How do you go about trying to fill those? Too often it is with things that leave us feeling emptier than before. We enter meaningless or harmful relationships, indulge in destructive behavior, distract ourselves with busyness, or hide and escape from the world, ourselves, and God.
Is this to say that it is wrong to desire? To want? To long for, truly, deeply? Not at all. Saint Augustine said “The whole life of the good Christian is a holy longing. What you desire ardently, as yet you do not see…let us long because we are to be filled…that is our life, to be exercised by longing.” Jesus himself told us to ask, seek, and knock, and he would freely give. Maybe not immediately, maybe not exactly what we want, but the deeper promise is that he will satisfy us from his own hand.
We need to feel desire, otherwise we wouldn’t try to satisfy it. If we didn’t get hungry, we’d never eat; if we didn’t get tired, we wouldn’t sleep…if our hearts didn’t ache, we wouldn’t search for God.
~~~
Hungry, I come to you
For I know You satisfy
I am empty, but I know
Your love does not run dry
Broken, I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary, but I know
Your touch restores my life
So I wait for you
So I wait for You
I’m falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You’re all this heart is living for
So go ahead. Ask. Seek. Knock. He will open the door.
---
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